..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think i have herpe
just one?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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