okay pat passed out under dana's car
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
