4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
with your own penis?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
