The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
