Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
