Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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