He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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