I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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