Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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