You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
