idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
