What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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