I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
