She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
