Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
