Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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