The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
