Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Mom said you looked used
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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