Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
