I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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