ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
