she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
