Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
