I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
