I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
