I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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