I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
