Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I supernannyed him into submission
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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