Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
