Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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