i wish there were pregnant emoticons
time to smoke my breakfast
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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