i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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