I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
