im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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