Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
