i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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