So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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