i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
