Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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