I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize