I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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