You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
