you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
only you would photoshop your dick
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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