At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize