he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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