covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We are two peas in an std pod
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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