please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
