if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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