I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
