my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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