physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
