dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
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I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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