wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
