You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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