You work out of a Hotel?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
