So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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