you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
