It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
