He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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