Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
