All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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