Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
