Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she pinky promised me she was 18
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
