I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
