You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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